I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize
