We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
