SEEEEXXX PLEASE
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
false alarm. still invincible.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
