my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
