love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize