but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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