So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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