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• (248): View more from Michigan

  3:26am: come over

  (847): View more from Illinois

  you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over

  (248): View more from Michigan

  4:11am: mnlodp

  (847): View more from Illinois

  dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...

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• (619): View more from California

  The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.

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• (714): View more from California

  Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots

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• (707): View more from California

  Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?

  (1-707): View more from California

  Yeah, so?

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• (516): View more from New York

  There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.

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• (530): View more from California

  ...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.

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