I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Mom said you looked used
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
