i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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