Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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