I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
