Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
