I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
