ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
