just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize