I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
