chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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