he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
