everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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