I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
