Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
