I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
