Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
