you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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