How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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