OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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