i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
