Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
