you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
