yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
