my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Holy shit dude........stairs
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