I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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