I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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