this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
