i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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