i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
