i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
be right there i have to get my cape
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
