pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
