i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
