You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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