i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
