rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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