I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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