is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
