he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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