wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
