I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
