i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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