For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
