She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
