Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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