Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
