He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He did a backflip because drugs
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
