He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
