dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
