big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
