I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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