Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
