well I can't set my house on fire every night
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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