I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
