I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
