Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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