Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.

(407): View more from Florida

I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.

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(361): View more from Texas

dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy

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(972): View more from Texas

I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.

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(315): View more from New York

Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..

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(956): View more from Texas

Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."

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(661): View more from California

It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring

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(303): View more from Colorado

They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.

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