hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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