the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
