Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
