Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize